Two men are hiking up a mountain. One of them goes to take a leak and gets bitten on his privates by a rattle snake. His friend tells him to stay there, he'll go get help, I saw a doctors office at the bottom of the mountain!
So he runs down the mountain and finds the doctor. He asks him to come help. The doctor says he's on his way to play some golf, so can't go help. Tells him it's easy: All you have to do is suck the venom from the wound.
Friend runs back up the mountain and finds his wounded buddy lying on the ground. He asks: What did the doctor say?
He said you're going to die!